A compilation of the awesome and/or humorous things that have been said in or about UnMasqued.
New quotes appear in bold.
Submitting quotes is a fun and productive way to avoid studying and it keeps this page from being overrun with things that only I or my character have said. If you want to submit a quote, e-mail the munificent LG at theominouslg AT unmasqued DOT com.
General Notes about submissions:
- 90% of the time, quoting yourself isn't as good an idea as you might think it is. Self-quoting lacks the perspective of quoting other people. Something you might have thought was really funny, witty, pertinent or profound, may in fact not have seemed that way to the rest of the group.
- Remember context. Sometimes, a quote is only cool because of the context in which it is placed. Oftentimes is is hard to replicate this context in text form.
- Occasionally submit a serious quote. Sometimes quotes are cool not because they're hilarious, but because they're profoundly awesome.
- OOC quotes about how much other peoples PCs suck often create awkwardness when posted. Seriously, the webmistress reserves the right to refuse to post any OOC quotes about the uselessness, stupidity or lameness of another PC.
Papa Bear: C'mon man, it's your turn! Everybody else told a story.
Lucas Brighton: I... my life's not that interesting...
Jamal Assara: Come now, Mr. Brighton... enlighten us.
Lucas Brighton: [sigh] Okay... So I'm fucking this girl in the ass in a Catholic church, right? Giving her the business. And she's flailing around, titties knocking over candles and whatnot, and I'm just thinking, "Man, I'm in a Church... there's got to be something I can use here - and that's when I see some rosary beads on the alter. So, I grab those suckers, whip'em around her neck, and now I'm pounding this girl's ass while I'm choking her out with Rosary Beads, and all of a sudden, she screams out "Spiderman, save my baby!" Now, she didn't even have a baby, and Spiderman's a fictional character. But apperently I was laying the pipe in such a way that she couldn't help but call out for an imaginary superhero to come to her rescue. So yeah, I felt pretty good about myself.
Jamal Assara: ...
Papa Bear: You... Are... My... HERO.
- Storytime in the Camarilla
"Play is something strictly frowned upon by the Tremere on the whole."
"There's always going to be some displaced and ancient being of darkness waiting in the kitchen and a political war just outside the door. But we're supposed to care for one another. That's what love is, I hear."
-->
"Over an eternity, improbabilities become certainties."
- Diego
"With any luck, your dumbassery shall be reduced to the point of whimsical comic relief. Totally going to go puke now."
"Yes, I will feed you to my pet alligator that thinks she is a fairy princess."
- Eugene "Brody" Wright to the rest of the Camarilla during court
"I'm drawing the line at lesbian vampire makeout sessions in my apartment"
"I think that we can bestow the status of tolerated on you, provided you stop hitting on me."
- Eugene "Brody" Wright to a new arrival
"Every story ends in death. I often think the survivors are the least fortunate. We see how all the stories end."
- Loa
"Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby Brujah!"
- Marcus Giovanni to Eugene "Brody" Wright on discovering the clan of a new arrival
"It was just a case of the blood drinking bees. Itched a little. Took an antihistamine. It got better."
- Marcus Giovanni
"Everyone has a favorite color, so you must. And it's not black, as much as you would like to say it is."
- Professor Pangloss to Whit Brokehouse
"Suicide means a different thing, when you're immortal. When you can't depend on an ending coming on its own. We really should have a right to it. No one should have to live forever.
- Pisces
"I am damned. I know this. I have committed many sins, and will commit many more, and far worse ones, before I finally meet my demise."
Adam: You see, racism against gypsies gets automatically tacked onto most other kinds of racism.
Abagail: So it's like a two for one?
Adam: Buy hate Jews, get hate gypsies free. It's like a 7-11 throw in.
-On Seth Samuel's prejudices
Becky: Remember, whatever she does to you, she's just trying to make you a better person.
Jackson: But I don't want to be a better person! I want to be a weasel!
- Dialogue concerning the character Cassandra's propensity for trying to "better" people.
Fred: I'd just like to nominate myself for being particularly deadly tonight.
Joe: Right, give Cameron a level of "Suck-my-Cock."
Justin: [ecstatic] You can buy that!?
- Typical exchange during nominations
Matt: (shouting to Ashley) Helen! ... Wait that's not your name, lemme get it.
Ashley: It's Ashley... My real name is A-she-ly
Diana: Wait, your vampire's name is Helen? That's so ordinary. I thought it would've been Nightraven, or something like that.
Matt: Well, you see, vampires are really-
Diana: (Cuts him off) I mean, you might as well of called her Susie. Or Doris.
- Discussion in the Decafe, right before game, with non-larp friends (Diana) involved.
"You know happiness and sunshine aren't the same thing for vampires."
- Charlie
"It's hard to get the Nosferatu off my face."
- Danya
"Just being ugly doesn't get you contacts!"
- John, regarding the Nosferatu clan advantage
"I'm sorry. I am filled with power and malevolence."
- LG
"The mighty hammer of God is coming down upon you because you killed too many %$*#ing government agents in front of the Pope!"
- LG, regarding the consequences of things.
"The fruit myth will be believed."
"When the blood suck ghost moves towards one new city, they must propose themself to the prince."
"Ha, his entire family is tortured in it after and his puppy obtains to the death by Tzmisce, the lung cancer. Draconius chews with gusto in quite the angstburger."
"Popefish is frequently prevented to be able to arrive absurdly for the example white sexual harasser camera company."
"We want you are the snake gods!"
"If you find any inconsistencies, innuendo, or other similar rules excavation wrong, rest assured boldly in their report theominouslg AT unmasqued DOT com"
- Some choice examples of what happens when you translate this entire website into Chinese using Google and translate it back again.
