Not that you're not fun, Daria
Daria Xela Matthewson; February - April, 2010
Daria Xela Matthewson; April 6, 2010
Quest for the Elven Fairy Princess - I'm buying some delicious meats from the butcher to take on this adventure. I'm searching the sewers for Isabella. While I'm down there, I'm investigating the broken traps and trying to determine what sort of creature broke them. I suspect it may be Isabella herself and looking for any evidence that would confirm or disconfirm my suspicions. If I don't run into her after a bit of wandering, I'll start doing some alligator calls with The Beckoning and see if she shows up. If I manage to find her, I will talk to her and find out more about her. I'll feed her the delicious meats if she is hungry. Mostly I'm trying to find out when she last saw Ash, what she has been up to lately, who her last vampire friend was, and how old she is. I'm trying to figure out what her understanding of being a ghoul is and whether she needs and/or wants a new vampire blood buddy. Where the conversation goes from there would depend on her responses
You go to Marcolli's Fine Butchery and Meat House Emporium and furnish yourself with a brace of meats fit for an elven fairy princess. You then put on your +2 armor of Pelor head down to the dungeon to crawl on your belly looking for traps.
Actually... you don't. Because crawling on your belly in the sewers, while an excellent way to find traps, is also an excellent way to smell like poo. Also... Pelor is a sun deity and wearing his stuff is probably like... a bad idea or something.
You eventually get to the traps that Keith mentioned as having been smashed up. Looking them over, they appear to be bear-traps of some sort that were designed to catch people who stepped on them and hoist them into some manner of diabolical contraption that quickly quilts their bodies with pointy bits of wood.... or at least, that's how you guess they functioned before something dented out most of the teeth of the bear-trap. The piece looks like it tried to close around a slab of concrete or something.
Not deterred by this ominous state of the sewer-traps, you trudge through the thick brown paste of human excrement and begin your quest to find the lost princess. After several hours of calling out the name Isabella and hitting the "Giant Albino Fairy Princess Alligator" button on your Animalism menu screen, you conclude that she's either not about to be found or perhaps simply doesn't want to be, and sadly begin the long journey home.
As you slump princess-less, meats in hand toward the access tunnel that you think leads to the surface, you look down rather suddenly to notice that your deluxe butterball turkey is missing from your inventory... as are the two of you fingers that were previously seen to be holding it.
You also notice that there is a very very large giant albino alligator in front of you, and wonder precisely how you missed this fact moments prior.
Being Daria, you remain largely unfazed by the loss of your turkey and fingers and give a polite monotone "Hello." to her majesty.
She responds with much embarrassment, and proceeds to apologize profusely for her sloppy eating and damage to your person and says that she gets excited sometimes. She seems very sincere.
"So'kay," you respond nodding. "These things happen."
Notes: See an ST for a very special pre-scene to continue this conversation.
Daria Xela Matthewson; April 11, 2010
About once or twice a week, I'll drop off some delicious meats for Isabella where I said I would. Should I encounter her, I'll engage pleasantries. (Note: This isn't leading anywhere. I won't be trying to make a retainer out of her. She just seems lonely and I figure having a happy, well-fed giant albino alligator in the sewers of the city where I live is a lot better than having a hungry, abandoned-feeling giant albino alligator in the sewers of the city where I live.)
You buy a whopping duffel-bag full of meats weekly and descend into the sewers to feed the princess of that particular kingdom, a pair of fairly thick princess-handling gloves covering your hands as a precaution. On those occasions in which you don't encounter her, you find that the meat soon vanishes. On the occasions which you do, you have all manner of meandering conversation.
Isabella remains very inquisitive as to when Ash might be waking up maybe, and if Prince Right is ever coming back. She claims that she's been very patient and that... you know Prince Right said that Ash maaaybee probably mostly wouldn't wake up... but that means maaaybee he will. Like... princesses know about this sort of thing... maybe somebody just has to kiss him? Maybe?
She's sort of bummed that Prince Right hasn't been by too. She'd just given him a present too - and he always had stories about orcs and Sabbats and stuff, because he was always busy being a hero and saving people. She worries that he didn't like her that much, and that maybe he found... "Well... his princess was dead and maybe he found another one... you know? *sniff* One that wasn't me..."
She gets a little indignant as she rambles about how Ash wouldn't up and leave like that, even if he was a big mean stupidface sometimes. He wasn't a Prince either... but he was fun sometimes... and he taught her to read, and he had a plant and an alfa-matt and he wasn't really that angry about the time she ate his computer (She got it back) and he made her a cake once! It was shaped like a BUTTERFLY and everything and it was made out of meat!
"I like meat!" she chirps, "and we'd talk about the unicorns and Marcus and Gemeanie and Caleebras and everyone, and it was fun... so... I think it would be good if he woke up now, because um... it would be!"
"Not that you're not fun, Daria. It's just that, well... I dunno. I like your meats too... even if they aren't shaped like a butterfly."