Pyramid Scheme

Carl "Pangloss" Davidson; October 24, 2008

OCCULT x3:
Not Being Ash Gently x 1

Hello STs! Here's a general synopsis on plans for Professor Pangloss's occult influence!

I estimate Pangloss's occult consists of roughly 18% new age hippy voodoo mumbo jumbo, 28% cult, 31% pyramid/mailing scheme, 34% novelty store, and 3% whipped cream. Generally the hierarchy of in-the-know is as follows:

Category I. This is a fun hobby.

Category II. This is an amazing opportunity to acquire wealth, social standing, and psychic powers. Hahaha people in Category I sure are short-sighted losers.

Category III. This is a means to spiritual awakening and miraculous powers! Hahaha people in Categories I + II are such small-minded fools!

Category IV. This is a profitable scam. Hahaha people in Categories I-III are such pathetic saps! Thank goodness those guys in Category V told us how things work!

Category V. Hahaha those guys in Category IV totally bought into the whole "profitable scam" thing. Profitable...for us! Cha-ching!

Category VI. Wait...this bit isn't a scam at all. Hahaha those Category V guys don't know what they're missing! Teach us your magicky ways Professor Pangloss/Doctor Daedalus/Other Witty Pseudonym!!

Category VII. Yay! I'm getting to do magicks! Hahaha I'll bet those guys in category VI wish they were me! I got to go on a spirit journey and I got an artifact and now I'm FUCKING FLYING THROUGH THE CLOUDS OMG WHEEEEEEE!

ategory VIII. Goddamit Professor-Pangloss/Doctor-Daedalus/Other-Witty-Pseudonym you lovable bastard! That wasn't a spirit journey, my "artifact" is a marble half-covered in tin foil and WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT MUCH WHIPPED CREAM? Hahaha I guess the joke's been on me all along.

Category IX. This is a fun hobby. Hey. Magic. Neat-O. We should go drinking sometime Pangloss or whatever-the-hell-your-name-actually-is.

Category X. Lookit me! I'm Professor Pangloss! Doo-de-doo!

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